Lost and Found

I am still lost in the fields of opportunity
I got this feeling someone from the other side waits for me
Why don't I hear Him?
Or is that He stays silent?
Am I surrounded by things that deflect me?
Am I on the crossroads to take a new path?

The questions keep burgeoning amidst isolation
Basking in the eyes of apathetic World
I still wonder "Have I made my mark yet?"
Am I lost in the pursuit of happiness?
Or Is it rather satisfaction I look for?
Or is it rather my temple whims to uncalled necessity?
My nerves get hold of me when my cup is bleeding
The cup I have been holding for a while.

There is a layer of invisibility over me
I do not see what is in front of me
I do not thank Him for what He giveth me
Why is that I have changed?
Why is that I keep walking in this deadly road?
Am I too meticulous in my living? Should I?

My Savior is right here
I should grab His hands and I should thank Him
His greatness is beyond interpretation
For He has given me all I need
I know and yet ignore that He can gift me anything
In His presence my cup would overflow with joy and love
I should open my eyes and see His grace in its exuberance
I was never lost because I was always found!!!

Few moments in God's lap..

This Sunday, i.e., yesterday, was special for me. Perhaps it was not the first time that I had attended the church as a deacon.
It was an English service at church yesterday, as it was the fifth Sunday of the month. I read the epistle Romans 5:11-16 and then continued with rest of the service. At the end when the curtain was closed, I knelt before the holy altar. It was such a great feeling and it was as if sitting in the lap of God.
Every firth Sunday reminds me that am I living right. Now shouldn't I be thinking about this everyday or every Sunday. Well maybe, No! Because on every fifth Sunday I am standing inside the altar and one needs to be fit for it and I am not.
Well I just hope I change soon....